I recently was struggling, so I deep dived into this video from Tony Robbins, and even went so far as to transcribe it. I wanted to share it below, as I think it can serve as a good reminder and some key foundational principles to life. Enjoy – Kyle
- Strategy (Least Important)
- Stories (Medium Important)
- State (Most important) (Not In Video) (Physiology)
1) Your Physiology
Every emotion you experience is first felt in your body. If you want to feel passionate, start by speaking more rapidly, moving more rapidly, and take on the “physiology” of passion. The same goes if you want to feel more confident – stand tall, be grounded, breathe fully, speak loudly, etc… In the same way, if you want to feel depressed, it’s a matter if slumping over, looking at the ground, breathing shallowly, frown, and speak quietly. The way you use your body biochemically changes how you feel. One good phrase I always like to remember is: Emotion is created by motion.
2) What You Focus On
The next thing that determines how you feel is what you decide to focus on. To feel happy, focus on things in your life that will make you feel happy. Perhaps it’s asking questions like, “What am I happy about in my life right now?” or even remembering happy moments from the past, like a fun birthday. Whatever you focus on, you feel. In the same way, to feel depressed you have to focus on things entirely differently. You need to be deleting all the good that’s going on in any given moment, and focused on the negative. If you asked yourself, “What really sucks in my life right now?”, I’m sure you’d be able to find something and end up feeling shitty. Or if I said, “Remember a time when you felt depressed”, like that time your dog died or something – you’d feel those emotions you felt. What’s wrong is always available, and so is what’s right.
3) Your Language
Your words and language patterns also change how you feel. If you say things like, “I feel really tired” or “This is too hard”, you will literally feel tired or that what you’re trying to do is hard. It simply doesn’t put you in an empowering state. All words have different emotional states associated to them. There are certain phrases you use that are disempowering, which will affect how you feel moment to moment. Being aware of your vocabulary, statements, phrases, and metaphors are crucial to controlling your state. The truth is, you can feel any emotion you want by DECIDING to feel it. Happiness is a choice. And so is depression, anger, frustration, or any other emotion. No one makes you feel “happy” or “angry”, it’s based on how you’re interpreting each situation in your life and the meaning you associate to it. More on that later.
Transcript of Tony’s Speech-
Emotions are a habit
If you say how do I pull myself out of my own overwhelm, my own funk?
You have to first own the fact that you’ve identified that is the way you live.
You get what you tolerate.
You’ve gotten used to tolerating that – thinking “this is me” – it’s a habit.
A way of looking at life.
A habit of how you use your body.
A habit of the language you use.
Certain words when you use them you become that.
You have to train yourself physically – it’s like working out.
People ask do I have bad days? Of course, I get angry, frustrated, sad, but I do not stay there. I used to LIVE there.
I used to be depressed all the time. I never get depressed now – not because I am so positive – it’s like a muscle. You can train yourself to be stressed out, be sad, we get wired.
The more we do something the better we get. You can train yourself to feel passionate, you can train yourself to feel strong.
I tell people, do not settle. Remember, you get what you tolerate. Put yourself in gear. Go for a workout.
Start to train your body and your mind
And also, find something you want to serve greater than yourself
If you’re just doing this for you, you’ll probably have bad days. If you’re doing it for your family, your community, humanity, and you really are, it isn’t bullshit, you’ll find a level of energy – insights – I really do believe, motive does matter.
If the motive is just for yourself, you don’t get much insight.
Life supports you because you are part of life
If you’re trying to support more than yourself
When you give a vision
that’s how businesses grow
that’s how movements happen right
find something bigger yourself to serve and make sure that you don’t tolerate weakness in yourself
that doesn’t need enough to feel sad but you’re not just going to stay there
because you made that decision
life’s too short to feel like crap
I’ve decided I want to live in a beautiful state for the rest of my life
that doesn’t mean I won’t feel bad it means I won’t stay there
because I’m in control and I can change it and so can you
Here’s a breakthrough by the way so we’re clear
if you say you’re having a breakthrough..
If you say.. who has never had a breakthrough?
you fought and you fought and then you had a breakthrough
Who’s had this happen before?
say I
a breakthrough is when there’s something you struggle with for a long time
you say you’re going to change
you say you’re going to make it happen
you’re going to lose that weight
you’re going to grow your revenues
you’re going to make that profit
you’re going to make something happy
You’re going to find that relationship
you’re going to stop smoking
and you start
and you get right near the edge and then you pull back
who’s done this multiple times before but then finally how to break through you broke through and actually change
Say I
so jot down what a breakthrough is and let me give you the three steps of it
a breakthrough is a moment in time
that’s what it is it’s a moment in time
it’s a moment where suddenly what was impossible becomes possible
and what makes it possible is
you take immediate massive what ?
immediate massive what?
Action
for that to happen
for the impossible to become possible
and for you to have action that’s going to get results
really I found over the years any kind of breakthrough you’re going to have requires three things to it
and if you never see me again and you’re ever in a place you say
I’m sick of fighting this
I’m sick of not getting results I want
I don’t want to just learn more
I want to breakthrough
if you remember this
and go back to the simple formula
and by the way I’ve made this simple purposely
you know why ?
complexity is the enemy of execution
the more complex you make it the less likely you’re going to execute
I’m so good at getting people to do things
because I make it so damn simple you can’t miss it
so let’s do it
what’s it going to take to ever breakthrough?
before I tell you let’s have you think of an area where you once fought and you finally had a breakthrough
for you personally
what’s an area
where you pushed and pushed and pushed
and you couldn’t do it couldn’t do it
and you finally made yourself do it
and broke through
How many can think of a specific area life when you actually did create a breakthrough?
Say I if you can remember one
Oh say it strong, Say I
SAY I!
what was that area
say it out loud
What was the area?
just say it out loud
What area did you break through ?
okay so now you’ve had success before let’s do it again
I’m going to show you the three things you need for break through
any one of the three can do it
all three of them together you will absolutely break through
and I’m going to give them to you in reverse order of importance
meaning I’m going to tell you the least important thing first
because it’s the first thing most of you go for
it’s not the most important but it’s very important
Now before I do it I want you right now to think of it area you want to break through right now
what’s an area of your life right now that you’d like to create a break through
how many to make up something you came here for
I want to change this
I want to rip this open
I want to transform this
I want to master this
who’s got a mirror your life right now
great
sit up in your chair some energy right now
Sit up in your chair
make sure the people on either side of you in a peak state right now
come on get them up
alright right now pick an area you want to create a breakthrough in
What’s an area you want to create a breakthrough In?
money finance
great
what specifically do you want to create a breakthrough about money or finance
I’d like some money
here’s the problem
ask and you shall _
so if she said like some money
I could give her a dollar and go okay so now you got some money
let’s move up if you’re that general you’re probably getting what you’re asking for
you just don’t realize it because you’re too general
What’s the breakthrough you want with money?
to be able to travel the world
what prevents that from happening now
money
so we now know what a real problem is
I’m gonna show you what a real problem is in a moment
somebody else
what’s the breakthrough you want
What’s the breakthrough?
tell me raise your hand
what’s the breakthrough
What’s the breakthrough you want sir ?
what is it to be a leader for my family
what’s preventing you from being a leader for your family
my mindset
what specific mindset
My focus
what focus
I’m just not focused enough
Now I want to listen to people’s answers because you’re going to see why people aren’t changing
Because it is so general
someone else
be honest
what’s here you want to breakthrough in
yes mam, what do you want to have a breakthrough in?
she goes I want to breakthrough in clarity of what I want to do with my career
What do you want to do with your career ?
(I don’t know)
you don’t know,
I know you don’t know, but if you did know,
and you had to tell me right now, what would you say?
(I want to be up there talking to thousands of people)
she doesn’t know and then when I say I know you don’t know
what’s the answer she tells me the answer instantly.
she just has a habit of saying “I don’t know”
when you say “I don’t know”, “I don’t know”, “I don’t know”, over and over again
you tell yourself a story,
you begin to believe that story
and once you believe it,
it manifests
how many of you have ever had- when you’re a kid
you’re eating dinner your parents says to you “could you get me the salt?”
and you’re enjoying your meal, and you don’t want to get up
so you don’t lie- but you say “I don’t know the salt is
it’s not a lie, you don’t know its exact position this moment of time
and your parent says “you know where it’s in it’s in the kitchen”
you go I don’t know the salt is!
I don’t know “you get me the salt is right now”
what are you saying your head as you walk in the kitchen
“I don’t know where the salt is”
“I don’t know where the salt is”
“I don’t know where the salt is”
You open the cabinet
And you really do look!
“it’s not here”
“it’s on the second shelf” they tell you
And you think
“I don’t know where the salt is”
“I don’t know where the salt is”
“it’s not here!!!”
they come storming in the kitchen
they reach right in front of your face
And they go “WHAT. IS. THIS?”
Who’s ever had one of these experiences?
“say I”
Now here’s my question
did your eyes see the salt, yes or no
yes
Your eyes saw the salt,
but your mind did not allow you to perceive the salt
because you told yourself a story over and over again
A belief over and over again
and it didn’t want to make you a liar with yourself
so you created what’s called the scotoma or a “blind spot”
now if you listen to all the people here
they’re all searching
so let me give you the answer
three keys to a breakthrough
think of the areas you want to provide you in right now
your body
your money
your relationships
your career
your business
your joy
your happiness
and let’s look at what your choices are
our first element
there are three “S’s” for a breakthrough
first element most people looking for is they’re looking for
The right strategy
you’re saying if I could find the right strategy
I could get this result right now
and by the way MY LIFE
I am a life and business strategist
all I do virtually is seek out the world for finding strategies
I find people been together for 60 years
and they don’t just love each other
they are intimate
they’re passionate
and make love
and I want to know what do they have different than other people
and I don’t think it’s luck
and I know it’s not luck
and I figure out what the strategies are
they do things that excite each other
and I find out what those things are
and you can put them in anybody’s relationship and its reignited
I find people
I just got done doing a four year project where I interviewed 50 of the most wealthy human beings on earth
and greatest investors in history
and these are all people that started with nothing
and became multi billionaires
and I interviewed them ]
put it inside the book
but very best with what I’ve learned
I learned
I got a PhD from the people to control the world economy
from the warren buffets of the world
and the ray dalios of the world
once I knew what their strategies are like right now
one of the strategies I put in my book it’s called money master the game
I believe it’s an Australian
I think it’s come to here yet
have you seen here in this book
I got one of them to actually give me a strategy
this man named Ray Dalio
he’s the largest hedge fund in the world
this is a guy that rich people give their money to give to a hedge fund guy
the big hedge funds are 15 billion
Ray is 160 billion
he’s ten times larger than anyone on earth
you have to have a billion dollar net worth
and give him a hundred million dollars ten years ago
to even begin investing with him
now he doesn’t care how much money you have,
he won’t take your money
and I got him to give me
the strategy that he has all of his personal money in
and he’s never told this to anyone on earth
and I put in the book cause I convinced him you’re not taking anybody’s money anyway
all the money you could ever take you taking y
you’re giving up half your net worth
I’m gonna give this the average person anybody to follow the strategy last year beat the stock market
the stock market the u.s. was 13.2
it did 15.6
in October last year his strategy not mine
I just got it from him
the stock market
the Dow dropped a thousand points in one month
it dropped 6%
this went up .2%
The first seven days of this year
the market was down 3%
this is up 1%
right now it up 3.5%
the markets up by 2.25%
and in the last 75 years
it’s made money 85% of the time
imagine
and when it lost it only lost 1.6%
and when it wins it wins an average of 10%
if you could go to Vegas and win 85% of the time at 10%
and only lose 1.6%, 50% the time,
how often would you fuckin play
it’s in the book
that’s strategy
you do once a year
you rebalance it
and you’re done
that’s how powerful it is
and it’s only not work twice 2008 and in 1932
and in both cases
it did twice as good as everything else
but it did lose money
now that’s the power of a strategy
but getting it from the best on earth
that’s what I do now
to do that it’s a time energy money effort
it didn’t interrupt me
I had to pursue it
I had expect no answers
but I want the answer and I got it
so I know the power of strategies
for anybody else does
but I want to tell you most of you want to lose weight
you’re looking for the strategy
one relationship you looking for strategy
look at business you want your strategy
all good things
the right strategy
save you years
save you decades
can convert results in minutes that you would have struggled for forever
so I know the value strategies
but
all that I just said about strategies
they’re not the most important keys to a breakthrough
let’s think about it
70% of the United States is overweight
I don’t know the current number in Australia but it’s starting to catch up to the u.s.
most of the world is catching up to the US
it polluted everybody else for the same lifestyle
and so guess what
Is it really that hard to be fit and strong ?
Is it so complex that you’ll never understand it ?
Is that why ?
Is the strategy complex or fit and strength to be fit and strong yes or no ?
Is it so unique and special that only the 1% can afford it? no ?
In fact don’t you have to work your ass off to avoid the information that could make you fit and strong ?
in fact today god forbid if you wanted to go work out and be trained how far would I have to leave this building to get to a place where they were train me
How far?
There’s one over there ?
isn’t it and we’ll probably drive there
God forbid we’d actually walk to the place we’re going to workout in shed right
and oh by the way you don’t do that now
you can take out your phone or your iPad right now and download ten books
we live in a world where the strategies are all around you
so strategy may be your problem
often it is
but more often you’re missing the number two thing you need
and that is THE RIGHT STORY.
because the story you have
about your life
about your business
about the area life that’s not where you want
the area breaking through
your story is what making you be stuck
What’s the story ?
it’s a belief that you tell yourself over and over again
like “I don’t know how to solve this”
“I don’t know how to solve this”
tell the story so often you believe it
a man once said
“you tell a lie big enough loud enough and long enough sooner or later people will believe you”
Who said that?
Hitler
and most of us are Hitler in our own minds
we convinced ourselves the challenges
so when person says “well you know least I tried”
someone who hasn’t lost weight they’ll say “I’ve tried “
come on ..
well they “say I tried everything”
Bullshit
if you tried everything
you’d be fitting strong
“well I applied thousands of ways
“thousands? name them!”
“well tried hundreds”
“name them”
“well I’ve tried dozens”
“name them”
“Well I did do these two stupid things that don’t work over and over again”
mine was “I’m big boned”
I am big boat but I was 38 pounds heavier with the same bones
so we often say things that are true to back things up
they are true
you’re big-boned
but that is not why you’re fat
right ?
so the story keeps us from it
if you know the relationship you want
what’s the story
all the good ones are gone
and they’re gay
and I’m not
or they’re not gay
and I am
It’s the story
the story is there
Write this down-
the only thing keeping you from getting what you want
the only thing keeping you from getting what you want
is the story you keep telling yourself about why you don’t have it
the only thing keeping you from getting what you really want
is the story you keep telling yourself about why you don’t have it yet.
yes here’s what I say
divorce your story and marry the truth
divorce your story and marry the truth
and don’t make it one those divorces where you revisit with your old-ass belief system again
divorce it cut it off and marry the truth
the truth will set you what? (free)
but you got to develop the empowering story
Because without that ..
now some of you think an empathic story is the one that allows you to be keep going at what doesn’t work
I’m not talking about a story where you cover your ass
and explain that you’re still going to achieve you want some day in the future
because no one can argue with that
because the futures not here
but really you’re not doing anything to change significantly.
Who knows what I’m talking about here?
say I
so you’ve got to find a story that’s going to empower you to act
a story that’s going to get you to find the breakthrough
because otherwise
with a lousy story you’ll never find the strategy
or you’ll come up with the reason why it’s
too expensive
you can’t get there
you can’t access it or
you’ll even get the strategy and then half-ass apply it
just so you can reward your story that says
it doesn’t work because I tried it
Its bullshit, bullshit, bullshit,
jumping and doing something different in our head
of course it’s not going to work
you’re not doing it
it’s self fulfilling
how many following
say I!
so I want you to get
this is the secret