Golden Handcuffs

Golden Handcuffs.

Where one chooses a well-paying cushy job over the entrepreneurial path. Mark Cuban had a recent quote: “I’d rather work 80 hours a week to make $50k/yr on my own thing than to make $750k/yr working for somebody else”.

We need leaders and we need followers in all endeavors of life. Both are admirable and respectable. No human can lead at everything, and leading requires a great deal of responsibility, time, and sacrifice. The term “golden handcuffs” applies to the fearless leaders who feel they are bound by their current role. How does one avoid finding themselves in that situation?

We are ever-evolving creatures, and thus, we must develop systems to regularly self-analyze and find ways to be deeply truthful to ourselves. Am I doing what I truly love? Am I living up to my full potential? Am I excited about what I am working on? What are my current values? Remember, what is right at one point in your life may be different at another point.. and don’t forget- it is extremely easy to lie to yourself.

It is possible for an entrepreneur to become an employee while retaining their freedom and identity to contribute to a mission much greater than what they otherwise could. I have witnessed many entrepreneurs who have become employees, and vice versa, both with positive outcomes. These are not golden handcuffs.

To drive it in again, the critical point is that you have to continue to question yourself in every aspect of life. Every day that passes is one less day to pursue one’s dreams. Are you doing what would truly fulfill you? Are you playing infinite games or finite games? Are you chasing money, riches? Are you surrounded by great people who push you to grow? Are you surrounded by people who value you? Are you hypnotized by the golden handcuff virus to the extent that you’ve forgotten what you used to dream about? …and now, you’re scared to follow your true north star?

Fear impacts everyone, and no one is immune to it. But for most, it is often buried so deeply they’re not consciously aware of it. The way our life unravels is based on our decisions- and really, just a few important ones. We cannot blame external circumstances or people for what happens in our lives- we can only blame ourselves. We must take full responsibility for the past, present, and future. Only then can we look at ourselves in the mirror and come face to face with reality… our fears. From there, we can strategize a plan, and set out to destroy those fears, one by one. Then we can live the life we were meant to live.

The biggest failure is to get to heaven to have God show you the man you could have been. Instead, choose to leave it all on the table. Get up. Work Hard. Find and follow your true path. Surpass all expectations. You can do it.

End of Year Review

Achieving greatness and reaching your goals can be both fulfilling and difficult. It’s crucial to have support and resources to turn to during difficult times to help us stay motivated, remember how far we’ve come, and get back on track. I have been doing this for the last 4 years and it is extremely useful. Enjoy!

Copy this article into your favorite note-taking app and complete the prompts.

  1. Accountability Partners (People who hold me accountable for achieving my goals)
  2. Dream Team (People who can help me turn my dreams into reality)
  3. Things That Make Me Happy
  4. Songs That Make Me Feel Alive (this could be a song that reminds me of a good memory)
  5. Places That Make Me Happy
  6. Things That I Am Good At

Reflections on Successes and Lessons Learned in the Previous Year

As we move into the new year, it’s essential to reflect on the past and consider what we achieved and what we can learn from it. Taking stock of our successes and challenges can help us set ourselves up for a productive and successful year ahead.

  1. Amazing Things I Achieved Last Year
  2. (3) Important Lessons I Learned Last Year
  3. What Am I Focusing On This Year?
  4. (3) Things I Can’t Wait For This Year
  • Rate Last Year (1-10)

Rate Your Life
To live well, it is important to keep balance in all areas of your life. Take a moment to consider each of the following categories and select the number that best reflects where you are currently. This exercise is best done at the start of the year, so you can identify any areas you need to focus on in the coming months. Later on, you can reevaluate these categories and see how much progress you have made.

Rate Yourself on the Following:

  • Relationships (1-10)
  • Health & Fitness (1-10)
  • Career / Business (1-10)
  • Finances (1-10)
  • Travel / Adventure (1-10)
  • Spirituality (1-10)

In 3 Months’ Time…

  • I Will Be…
  • I Will Have…
  • I Will See…

In 12 Months’ Time...

  • I Will Be…
  • I Will Have…
  • I Will See…

In 3 Years’ Time...

  • I Will Be…
  • I Will Have…
  • I Will See…

In 5 Years’ Time...

  • I Will Be…
  • I Will Have…
  • I Will See…

Create Your Yearly Vision Board
To create a vision board:

  1. Consider the things you want to include, such as:
    • Places you want to visit
    • People and quotes that inspire you
    • Health and wellness goals
    • Career and business aspirations
  2. Find images and words that reflect your vision
  3. Arrange the images and words in a Word doc, or photoshop (use!)
  4. Review the vision board daily to manifest your future.

For the upcoming year, let’s focus on getting clear about what we want to achieve.

What do I want to feel this year?

(3) Things I Am Looking Forward To

  1. ?
  2. ?
  3. ?

(3) Things I am grateful for

  1. ?
  2. ?
  3. ?

(3) Habits I want to Kick

  1. ?
  2. ?
  3. ?

(3) Habits I want to Adopt

  1. ?
  2. ?
  3. ?

(3) Fears I want to Face

  1. ?
  2. ?
  3. ?

Top 5 Goals of The Year

  1. ?
  2. ?
  3. ?
  4. ?
  5. ?

Top 5 Places to Visit

  1. ?
  2. ?
  3. ?
  4. ?
  5. ?

Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk often begins from obsessing about the self.

The quickest solution? Giving.

Give someone something that they’d value. Focus on others instead of yourself.

It could be as simple as giving a compliment, attention, or time.

Another origin of negative self-talk is trauma (and the mind attempting to cope with it).

I have a crazy example from a physical trauma I faced.

When I was 17, I totaled an ATV going ~60 mph. I did two “rag doll style” flips in the air and landed on my head.

I shattered my helmet into a million pieces. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for that helmet!

The accident put me in the hospital for 8 days, and I had 3 bleeds in the posterior parietal section of my brain.

When I came out of the hospital, I was extremely fragile, fearful, confused, uncertain, and unconfident.

When trauma happens (whether physical or emotional), confidence is often destroyed, and the individual will likely lose sight of a compelling future for themselves.

Most of my post-accident thoughts were about “what I could no longer do”, and “how I was now mentally handicapped”. These thoughts ruminated in me for years while I tried to get back to living a “normal” life.

But with coaching, mentorship, going to the gym, studying, and of course, time, I’ve killed all of the limiting beliefs that came from this trauma.

Now, I own a motorcycle, after fully believing I’d never be able to step on a powered vehicle again. This was a massive internal win for me. I realized I was more powerful than my circumstances.

Remember, negative/limiting thoughts can be big and obnoxious, or very small and hard to detect- and they impact all of us to some degree.

One of my favorite new tricks for when you have negative thoughts or limiting beliefs: use Voice Recording on your phone, and record yourself speaking them out loud. Then play it back to yourself (especially days later). It works wonders.

No thoughts or emotions stick around forever- remember “this shall too pass”. This is a law of the universe.

Wake up every day and immediately put yourself in a positive mindset.

Scream your incantations and give every day your all.

Stay in control. You’re behind the wheel.


Going Forward Alone

When it becomes clear you have distractions in your life, what do you do?

I purge. I remove everything.. every. thing. For an extended period of time.

All devices/screens- phone, laptop, internet, friends, events, work obligations, etc.

I am left with books and journals, and nothing else except my mind.

Sure, I am lucky I can afford to do it. But what is really stopping you? Bullshit excuses? You find time to vacation, right?

The purge is far from a vacation. It is more work than your normal job. It is very hard. Emotionally and spiritually. It requires discipline.

The purge forces one to slow down their brain and check in on the health of its foundation.

Most people cannot sit alone for 20 minutes- let alone 3 days, a week, or longer.

It is said to be detrimental to health to be alone. That we are “communal creatures”.

When people commit crimes, we lock them away. We put them in silent chambers if they’re REALLY bad.

Things like going out to eat, sitting at a bar, vacationing, going to a movie or nightclub.

All of these are frowned upon to do alone. Why?

They say “you’ll never be happy with someone else if you’re not truly happy alone”…

Well, if you never give yourself 3 days to ponder, how will you ever know?

Make a plan- at least once a quarter- to rent an AirBNB/Hotel over a weekend.

Leave your phone and laptop behind. And use that weekend to write, strategize, and plan.

It is an easy thing to deprioritize. It is hard to remember the reward. But it is always worth it.

One thing that stops many of us from living life to its fullest is we’re often too afraid to go forward alone.

You must break through that.

Love yourself and love your life.


What questions are you asking yourself?

When did men start becoming consumed, manipulated, owned, and enslaved?

Since the beginning of time…

The interesting part is that most people who are “owned” don’t even realize it.

Technological advancement has made it increasingly difficult to detect.

If we are not aware, we can’t even get upset about it.

It becomes the paradox: “You don’t know what you don’t know”.

It then becomes a belief, a worldview.

You ultimately just accept it as “the way life is”.

Everything you do in your life is shaped around it.

This is true for all beliefs.

We can help wake others up. Support people to search for more.

It is critical we challenge ourselves with better questions.

What might be owning you? Is someone, somewhere, profiting off of how you spend your time?

Do you accept enslavement by some things, but not others? What do you tolerate in your life?

How can you ask yourself better questions? How can you think differently?

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and answers will show up.

Sometimes you’ll get answers to questions you hadn’t asked yet.

Those are really profound.