Negative self-talk often begins from obsessing about the self.
The quickest solution? Giving.
Give someone something that they’d value. Focus on others instead of yourself.
It could be as simple as giving a compliment, attention, or time.
Another origin of negative self-talk is trauma (and the mind attempting to cope with it).
I have a crazy example from a physical trauma I faced.
When I was 17, I totaled an ATV going ~60 mph. I did two “rag doll style” flips in the air and landed on my head.
I shattered my helmet into a million pieces. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for that helmet!
The accident put me in the hospital for 8 days, and I had 3 bleeds in the posterior parietal section of my brain.
When I came out of the hospital, I was extremely fragile, fearful, confused, uncertain, and unconfident.
When trauma happens (whether physical or emotional), confidence is often destroyed, and the individual will likely lose sight of a compelling future for themselves.
Most of my post-accident thoughts were about “what I could no longer do”, and “how I was now mentally handicapped”. These thoughts ruminated in me for years while I tried to get back to living a “normal” life.
But with coaching, mentorship, going to the gym, studying, and of course, time, I’ve killed all of the limiting beliefs that came from this trauma.
Now, I own a motorcycle, after fully believing I’d never be able to step on a powered vehicle again. This was a massive internal win for me. I realized I was more powerful than my circumstances.
Remember, negative/limiting thoughts can be big and obnoxious, or very small and hard to detect- and they impact all of us to some degree.
One of my favorite new tricks for when you have negative thoughts or limiting beliefs: use Voice Recording on your phone, and record yourself speaking them out loud. Then play it back to yourself (especially days later). It works wonders.
No thoughts or emotions stick around forever- remember “this shall too pass”. This is a law of the universe.
Wake up every day and immediately put yourself in a positive mindset.
Scream your incantations and give every day your all.
Stay in control. You’re behind the wheel.